I’m so grateful for the last few days as I’ve had the opportunity to grace myself with so much wonderful knowledge and experiences about POISON IVY.  

It’s been a constant joy trying to fight off the “itch demons” every second of every single day. (Don’t itch, don’t itch, don’t itch, don’t itch)

I can’t be more thankful for the opportunity to see more and more rashes pop up when I periodically glance in the mirror.

I am very much a better man because I now understand that poison ivy can last quite a few weeks and end in permanent scarring.  (Don’t itch, don’t itch, don’t itch, don’t itch)

I can truly say I enjoy waking up in the middle of the night desperately unconsciously scratching the hell out of the back of my knee.

It’s been so rewarding rubbing steroid cream all over my legs every few hours. (Don’t itch, don’t itch, don’t itch)

I love seeing the horrified look on the faces of my friends as I show them my grotesque legs.

I feel so blessed because I get to explain to my two year old that her dear old dad got a  “boo boo” because he was running where he shouldn’t.

I’m basking in the glory of my wife’s “I told you so” during our discussions of the correlation between my trail running and the chance of getting poison ivy.

(F*** it…..SCRATCH SCRATCH SCRATCH! Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh……..sweet relief)

In all seriousness…I’m just glad I didn’t wipe with the three leaved demon.